Author Archives: Nichola Schwartz

Spending time thinking about good things from out past, present and future changes out brain chemistry in a positive way.

Savouring the moment will improve your mental health

Savouring doesn’t just create good feelings, it amplifies them and makes them last longer.

More Savouring = More Happiness

Savouring is linked to more happiness, greater self esteem, optimism and life satisfaction. It may also protect against depression and hopelessness.

and the even better news…

A study of 15,000 people found that those who experienced a lot of past adversity are better able to appreciate life’s small pleasures in the present.

10 Ways to Practise Savouring

and improve your mental health…

1 – Share your good feelings with others. This is called Capitalising. It makes the experience feel more valuable and, as a bonus, it builds trust.

2 – Take a mental picture of the moment to savour later. When we reminisce on savoured moments we recreate all the positive feelings over and over again.

3 – Revel in your success. Congratulate yourself and share it with trusted others so they can praise and congratulate you too.

4 – Pay attention to your senses – how does it look, sound, taste, smell, feel? The more detail you give to your positive memory as you create it, the more power it will have when recalled.

5 – Express your good feelings externally – smile, laugh out loud, whoop, cheer – hey do a happy dance if you want to 🙂

Laughter enhances your intake of oxygen-rich air, stimulates your heart, lungs and muscles, and releases Endorphins.

6 – Stop Multi-tasking and focus – be mindful of what you are experiencing – get absorbed. Savour the flavour, texture, smell of your food, the feel of a hug, the sensation of cool water on your body on a hot day.

7 – Consciously feel grateful in the moment when you remember things from the past or anticipate the future. Express it to yourself and others – “I’m feeling so grateful right now”.  Feed your gratitude practise.

8 – Stop being a Kill Joy. Why would you want to spoil an opportunity for Joy for you or anyone else?

Focus on the positives.

9 – Actively keep an eye out for situations to savour. Ever bought a new car and then seen that model everywhere? What we focus on proliferates in our lives.

10 – In good times (as well as bad) remember – “this too shall pass”. Life has highs and lows that come and go. So grab the highs with both hands, savour them wholeheartedly in the moment, and capture them as precious memories to savour over and over again

…and if you need any help, just give me a call

I’m here to support you and doing both online and face to face sessions in Chiswick, Acton and Windsor

Nichola

Crisis Counsellor, Hypnotherapist and EFT practitioner

www.londonlifesolutions.com

nichola@londonlifesolutions.com

07946 526 838

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Disappointment is a tricky emotion

Sometimes it might make us mildly uncomfortable, at others it can challenge our entire view of ourselves.

It’s easy to wallow and ruminate – feeling like a victim – powerless or helpless.

However, if we take action we can turn things around quickly, get back on track and start moving in the right direction:

1 – Accept how you feel and take 15-20 minutes to wallow it’s important to recognise our feelings.

Research tells us that naming and writing down negative emotions reduces their impact.

Whereas forced positive thinking can increase our stress levels.

2 – Disappointment can lead to other emotions eg awareness, acceptance, determination or anger, bitterness, depression.

You may not be able to control the events or people around you but you can control your emotional response to them. Take the high ground and take action to restore your equilibrium.

3 – Remember that YOU are not a disappointment – you are EXPERIENCING a disappointment.

You are exactly the same person you were before the news/event, with the same skills and positive characteristics. You’ve just hit a bump and you have the ability to manage it.

YOU are not a disappointment – you are EXPERIENCING a disappointment

4 – Learn from the disappointment – There’s a famous NLP saying “there’s no failure, only feedback” – given another chance – what WOULD you do that you didn’t do, what WOULDN’T you do that you did do.

5 – Remember that disappointment happens in the Learning zone – there’s no growth in our comfort zone. Everything wonderful in your life started in the learning zone.

eg your relationships, your favourite hobby, your dream business or job.

But with risk comes reward and a few stubbed toes. Disappointment is inevitable when we strive.

6 – Take a reality check – Is it really that bad? – what’s the worst thing that could happen? What have you really lost and how can you recovery some of that loss? Focus on what you DO have – write a gratitude list, start a gratitude practise.

7 – Check your expectations – I’m fond of saying that all negative feelings are the result of the gap between reality and our fantasy of what reality SHOULD be.

So, were you expecting too much of yourself or others?

Perfectionism breeds disappointment.

8 – Talk it over with someone close to you or a therapist. Get a new perspective from someone you trust, someone who has your interest at heart. They may help you see yourself and the situation in a more positive light. You may even identify an opportunity you’d otherwise have missed.

9 – Boost your self esteem – create a “Why I Rock” list – indisputable proof you are great. Maybe start with what your best friends or family would say about you eg kind, funny, caring, smart…add specific examples.

10 – Identify one small step to get moving again. Then take that action to continue forward towards your goal and watch as your confidence is restored.

…and if you need any help, just give me a call – I’m here to support you and doing both online and face to face sessions in Chiswick, Acton and Windsor

Nichola
Crisis Counsellor, Hypnotherapist and EFT practitioner
www.londonlifesolutions.com
nichola@londonlifesolutions.com
07946 526 838

If you’re not already signed and would like to receive further Newsletters from me please do so at the top of this page – Thank You

Did you know that there’s an equation for trust?

The Trust Equation

You can use the Trust Equation to assess why people may not trust you, and why you may not trust others.

The equation is: T = (C + R + I) / SO

T = Trust (the willingness or ability to rely on others)

C = Perception of Credibility (trusting what someone says)

R = Perception of Reliability (trusting what someone does)

I = Intimacy (entrusting someone with something)

SO = Perception of Self-Orientation (self-awareness and focus, i.e. whether your focus is primarily on yourself or others).

Wearing a mask tells me that they have a high R (reliability) score and a low SO (self orientation) score – they might just be OK 

One dictionary definition of trust is “feeling safe when vulnerable.”

Now more than ever we need our trusted support networks around us – our tribes, the people that “have our backs” – old friends and new – we need people we can TRUST

Brene Brown (Shame Researcher and highly recommended writer/TED presenter) uses the acronym BRAVING to describe how we can build and maintain trust:

• Boundaries: Setting up parameters for what we will and won’t permit in our lives. We each have a bubble of comfort into which we allow some people and exclude others. We have the right to say yes to what we want and no to what we don’t want without guilt.
• Reliability: Knowing that we can be counted on to do what we say and say what we mean.
• Accountability: Owning up to our feelings, words and actions, rather than placing blame on others. 
• Vault: Only sharing information that is ours to share or that we are given explicit permission to tell others if it is another person’s story.
• Integrity: Living according to our values.
• Non-Judgement: Speaking our truth and allowing for others to do the same without making them or ourselves wrong for it.
• Generosity: Assuming that the other person has our best interest at heart and vice versa.

…and if you need any help, just give me a call – I’m here to support you and doing both online and face to face sessions in Chiswick, Acton and Windsor

Nichola
Crisis Counsellor, Hypnotherapist and EFT practitioner
www.londonlifesolutions.com
nichola@londonlifesolutions.com
07946 526 838

If you’re not already signed and would like to receive further Newsletters from me please do so at the top of this page – Thank You